Dear Josh,

This has been the most amazing break with you, everything went back to normal, which I was nervous about. Knowing that you were only a short drive away was the best. We made it through the first semester of course, now it’s time to go back and I have to say goodbye. You are my best friend, and always know what to say to make me smile and feel better. I’m going to miss your smile and hugs so much. I know we can get through this, it’s going to be hard, I’m going to try and be strong for you but not seeing you is going to kill me. I know you are going to play amazing this season I wish I could be there watching you. 

So I said my goodbye I stayed strong somewhat but when I got home and to thinking about everything I broke down. I haven’t cried that hard in a longggg time, felt like I was having a panic attack and couldn’t breathe. It hurts me not knowing when I will get to REALLY spend time with him again. Sure I’ll see him for a day every couple of weeks, but really get to just be together, that won’t be until summer and we both know it. It hurts we’ve never had it easy. Baby you mean the world and more to me. We got this, it’s going to be hard and I’m going to need you to be strong for me when I’m weak and same goes for you. I feel like I can give advice much better than actually listen to myself and take it. Love is not a maybe thing, you know when you love someone, and you know that you are going to do whatever it takes to push to the next day. It’s not a goodbye, but a see you later. Josh you are my heaven, my love, my rock. I’m going to miss you more than you know. We got this. I love you.

I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always.